The Due Date - A Year Later

Robbie was due to be born one year ago today. It's amazing how much has changed. As I type, Justin is prying shredded napkins from Robbie's mouth while Robbie dances to music. My life has become a complicated web of diapers, bottles, hugs, kisses, tears, and messes. And that's just with Justin!

This time last year, I panicked about having a baby. It suddenly occurred to me that I might not love the child I'd been carrying for nine months. I burst into tears on our couch one night, which probably didn't surprise Justin that much. But my revelation did. He wrapped me up in a big hug and assured me that we would love life with Robbie. And, you know what? I do. It took me a while to get to that point. Especially the first five weeks. But now I couldn't imagine life without him, even during temper tantrums.

During this time, I was jealous of every new mom I saw on the street. How was it that they got to meet their new babies and mine was still refusing to come and play. I think I got more panicked with every passing day because I had a finite maternity leave. Regardless of when Robbie was born, I had to go back to work 28 September. And all I wanted was time with my new baby. Now all I want is time with my little boy; I don't even know that there's any of my baby left.

My father-in-law came in town for Robbie's birthday late last night. This morning, he told me he had something for me. Pat told me that birthdays, especially first birthdays need to be about moms, too. I couldn't agree more! In fact, for the first time ever, I told my mom thank you on my birthday - I finally knew what she had gone through. Pat had brought something for me to commemorate Robbie's first birthday. It was the ring he was given for his Confirmation over fifty years ago. I'm actually wearing it as I type. It's a beautiful man's ring with a diamond and a ruby -- Robbie's birthstone.

So, to everyone, I encourage you to thank your mom on your birthday; it's really her day, too. Gentlemen, remember your wives on your kids' birthdays. And, ladies, remember that your husbands were as supportive as they could be the days your children were born. Really, I'm sure they were. It just didn't seem like it at the time...